My Scottish Cousin

So my cousin is visit from Scotland. I is liking the Scottish people very much, their land is just like Afghanistan you see - is many mountains and drugs and they hate the English too.

Ariana, the world famous Afghan Airlines company is banned by the wicked Europe peoples for the bullshit "safety" reasons.  Yes, sometimes our plane doors is fall off and we is run out of fuel and drop from the sky like the heavy camel dung  but all airplanes is have this problem is no fair for to pick on the Afghan plane and make the Afghan peoples walk to the faraways places. Is take Ameera 6 years to hitchhike Kabul, although is true she is spend year in Turkey play the Tomb Raider game is very addict, Moo is know this. Ameera is no mind the long walkings actually but she is worry her husband in Glasgow is run out of the rooms for 2,000 episode Eastenders he is tape for her.

Anyways,  Ameera finally here - Moo is so glad in his heart for his beloved blood relative to be safe ! Scotland is too violent country with the poor food, the life expectancy is so low, Moo is worry too much for his dear cousin !

We is go disco later.

Is You Stoned Yet ?

Is news to thrill the heart of evry pure-hearted Muslim evrywhere. Aceh province in Indonesia is restart the stonings for the naughty womans who is cheat on her husband with the other man or who is thinking about cheating or who is cheat at the card game or who is attacked by the cheetah or who is eat too many cheetohs.

Ahhh, i is remember the good times in Kabul when we is gather on Saturday night with some hot buttered popcorn and a large rock for a nice stonings. Afghan girl is get many beatings, sometimes she is punch in face as she comes out of the womb so she is strong,  you see,  so is lasting for long times and giving the great values for moneys. Truthfully, i say to you,  i don't know what western people they is do at the night time if they no have any stonings.

Ugly Betty is come Afghan TV

                                                Ugly Betty.

                                                              

                                                                     

            

                                               Ugly Behrukh.             

 

Is news to excite. Afghan TV is remake the Ugly Betty for the Afghan audience. Is love American show, is so very funny because Betty is ugly you see, with bad dress, but is surround by the pretty womans, ha ha ha. Is funny for week after week after week. I worry is lose the magics in the translatings but the clever Afghan TV peoples is catching the joke so very well - every womans is wear the blue burkha you see but Ugly Behrukh is wear the yellow burkha. Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ! I'm sure I is still laughing week 21. 

(Is funny ironies because Behrukh is mean beautiful).

Is Osama Jewish ?

Osama is piss me off sometimes. After hard days blow shit up, you is feel dirty and sticky as Christina Aguilera's underwear but we is come back to bat cave and is nothing in fridge but the dried scorpion to eat and nothings to do but drink Osama's mud tea and shit in the hole.

Osama worth kajillions dollars but he say we is no have money for the expresso machine. Even the loser Taliban is have the Playstation but we is play hopscotch like the little girls. I thinking Osama is go down to Kabul on weekend and put monies in fruit machine.

Fatima is become Thinima

Is hungry times for the Moohammed household, my friends. 10 % of poppy fields is be burnt by the troublesome British, but worse is the heroin taking is down by 40 %.

Am asking you : Is bloody Charlie Sheen clean up his act again ?

Is big congratulations to Mr Bad Boy Charlie Sheen, btw, who is marry his new blondie bimbo. Is hope this marriage is lasting longer than Nissan hatchback on Afghan mountain road.

Poem

Is sensitive side to Moohammed is very few to see this. Is chance to show innermost feelings and to make a beauty out of lifes hardship.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

What would you do,

If you saw the jew ?

I would send them to heaven

With my AK47.

Do you like ? Every day should be havings some poetry in it.

Battlestar Galactica

My good friend, 'Stupid Ali', is always talk about this show, 'Battlestar Galactica'. He is so stupid, he is point his satellite dish straight up, so he cans get the 'live action' from deep space.

Actually, I is like very much this 'Boomer' character, aka Grace Park. She is look so very gentle and soft with the tender eyes like this donkey my parents is use have.

Watching Grace get beatings and shot every week is remind Mo of golden memories he is have of his time in the old Kabul in 90s and give me the warm glow in my belly.

                                                                        

Amazing Grace

                            Grace Park  -  'Boomer' in BSG

Oh, Grace,  you is make my heart go tickety tockety tick like a poorly made Syrian car bomb.

JAWS

Movie Review

Hello,my very good friends. Is very exciting - my first bloggings ! Here in Kabul, electricities is only workings for 5 minutes maximum, so I is quick !

Am watching new movie is play now Kabul, is called "Jaws" - have you heard ? At first I is like this movie americans they is becoming the fast food this time you see ha ha ! But guess what ? Is being direct by the jew Spielberg and do you know ? the 2 jewish actors Scheider and Dreyfuss they is swim away happy and the non-jew Mr Robert Shaw he being munched by the shark like he is the Colonel Sanders super-delish hot wings with the spicy fuck octopus sauce. Sorry, is swear but why is jews no eat too ? (Jews is always not being killed in Spielberg movie, you look "Mr Schindler's List"). Maybe they should be re-naming this movie "Jews". 

Verdict : americans is eaten is good but jews undigested so is Moohammed not fully recomending this movie. Is more jews on menu next time please 

Rating : I is give this movie 3 kebabs out of 5